Thursday, March 19, 2009

Everybody hates DB2, and pureXML is crap!

DB2 pureXML has only one XML type, can you believe it? There are no choices. To be more flexible I want one XML type for financial applications, one for report-generating applications, one for financial applications that are used for generating reports, and one for report-generating applications in a more financial context. Where are my choices in DB2? Only one XML data type, no options!
DB2 pureXML is following those quasi standards from W3C for updating XML data. It's not standard yet. Can't they do anything proprietary that will stay proprietary after the standardisation is finished? I want something different in my database system, not standards. It would be too simple to learn and too simple to port to or from other systems. I want to show that I have special skills that I can use only with one special system. I hate DB2, I hate standards.
DB2 has all this autonomic and automatic stuff which is too simple to use. Where are the knobs? I love configurations, optimizer hints and month-long fine tuning, why autonomics? I don't want a life. Autonomics does not work. Look at the DB2 pureXML benchmark results! They did only use autonomics during their 1 TB TPoX benchmark, no manual tuning. Look at the pureXML results, the numbers cannot be good.
Speaking of benchmark results, I hate them. Why can't the DB2 guys leave testing to enterprises alone? Why do they make benchmark results public? We all know that benchmarks are crap and that's why so far no really serious database vendor has published any benchmark results, ever! This is all so much crap!

Are you wondering whether I had too much coffee this morning or was trying substances used in professional "sports" or my wife made me sleep outside in the cold? Nice guess, but I am only testing something for the upcoming April Fools' Day. The above may have been a bit too obvious, may have been missing any "supportive" facts and links you may have asked for. I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. If you are in for more subtleties you should try reading what Oracle lables "Oracle 11g XML DB vs. DB2 9.5 pureXML". It can be downloaded here. I enjoyed all the subtle humor and how they argue. Nice, a well done paper for April Fools' Day!

BTW: You can learn more about TPoX in one of my previous posts and of course at the official TPoX website. I also wrote about XML storage options before. If you have never touched DB2, I encourage you to try out DB2. Don't be fooled. DB2 Express-C can even be used in production systems free of charge and pureXML is included.